Last of The Funnies...

Good morning!  It's time to laugh again!  This joke comes from Angela at Life, As I See It!  It was originally told by comedian Myron Cohen.


     An old man and an old woman have really low Social Security Checks, so
     they decide to move in together in order to combine their incomes and live
     a better life.  All they can afford is a one bedroom apartment.  They 
     discuss all of the ways living together would change their lives.

     Since they will be sleeping in one bed, the woman, with her eyebrow
     raised, says, "What about the sex?"

     The man replies, "Infrequently."

     The woman, after a long pause, then says, "Is that one or two words?"


Thanks, Angela!  I thought that was hilarious!!  The next couple of ditties come from Debbie at The Life and Times of an Essex Girl.  According to Debbie, Essex girls are stereotyped as being blond, a bit think, and wearing white stilettos and are either named Sharon or Tracey and are bimbo-ess like.
 

     Sharon has nine kids and they are all called Wayne.  When asked how
     they know which one she is calling, she replies, "Well, that's easy.  I
     just holler their surname!!"


and the second one from Debbie is:


     Tracey gets injured in a drunken brawl.  An ambulance is called.

     The paramedic asks, "Do you know where you're bleeding from?"

     Tracey says, "Of course I do!!  I'm from bleeding Romford, ain't I?!!"


Thanks for those, Debbie!!  The next joke comes from Cyndy at Positive Pals. 


     There is a huge family in Arkansas with six children.  The sad thing is
     that their youngest son, little Jasper, hasn't ever spoken a single word,
     nothing, and he is four-years old.

     One morning everyone is getting situated at the breakfast table, they say
     grace and DIG IN. 

     Almost immediately, Jasper says loudly, "These biscuits are HORRIBLE!!"

     The whole family is amazed.  They run and gather 'round him.  His
     mother gives him a big hug.

     She says, "Jasper, sweetheart,  how is it you've never spoken, and now
     all of the sudden you've said something???"

     Jasper shrugged and looked down with disgust at the biscuit on his plate,
     and said, "Everything had been just FINE until NOW."


I laughed really, really hard at that joke!  Maybe it is because it's about food.  Thanks, Debbie!   Finally, this last short joke comes from my sister Krissy at Sometimes I Think.  I laughed the hardest at this one.  I'm not sure why.


     Flashlight:  a case for holding dead batteries


LOL  Thanks, Krissy!  If anyone else has any jokes they would like to send my way just put them in the comments section or send them to valphish@aol.com and I will post them!  Thanks for sending in your jokes!  I hope you all enjoyed them and are enjoying your day! xox