I will be posting the jokes I have received, as promised from "Wordplay" Wednesday, over the next two or three days!! This should be fun!! I had some really good laughs and want to thank you all for tickling my funny bone. The first submission I have is from Barbara at Confessions of an Angel Waitress. She sent me something that I find hysterical. You see, there are alot of rednecks in PA. Now, please don't get offended if you live in PA. I don't think it is a bad thing to be a redneck. I just might qualify for one or two of the items below (but I won't tell you which ones! LOL), as I think alot of us here in this wonderful state can. How about you? Hope you have fun reading! Thanks Barbara!
You Know You're a Redneck When...
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
9. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
10. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
11. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
12. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
13. You have a rag for a gas cap.
14. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
15. You can spit without opening your mouth.
16. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
17. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
18. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
19. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
20. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
21. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
22. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
23. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
24. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
25. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
I hope everyone is having a lovely Memorial Day weekend with their families. May we remember those who served our country and especially those who paid the ultimate sacrifice. May God bless each and every one of you! Take care. xox
I'm a gal with chronic pain and illness who has been forced to live life slowly. I appreciate this pace. I've learned to notice small joys and smell the flowers along the way =). Come in and say hello...