Monday, January 26, 2004

Still More Snow!

Hi all.  I really dislike the color orange so I purposely decided to type with it.  It brings to mind a quilting teacher I heard about who made her students pick their least favorite color and make a quilt in shades of that color.  I think that is fascinating.  What a cool challenge.  We probably really don't dislike alot of things that we think we do.   I am reading a book on mindfulness living.  It teaches you to be happy and content with what you are doing at the present.  Most are looking for that next challenge, high, dollar, or whatever.  My life will be better when.........  That is very sad.  Almost any task can be fun if you look at it in a different light.  When you are dusting look at how shiny and pretty your knick-knacks are.  When you are raking the leaves look at the beautiful sky and smell the air.  When you are playing with your children get into the play.  When you are weeding your garden look at the flowers.  When you have to go grocery shopping smile and realize that the food nourishes your body.  Each moment can be positive when you turn it around.  I try to live this way, although it is very difficult at certain times.  I have learned transcendental meditation, also, and it is fantastic and I recommend everyone to learn it.  It is an experience that no one should go through a lifetime without knowing and using.  I have a Haiku for you today.  I go to and submit poems sometimes.  They have pictures to stir up feelings for the Haikus.  They had a picture of a tidal wave in the sea.  For those of you who don't know what a Haiku is, it is a Japanese poem, non-rhyming, with five syllables in the first verse, seven in the second, and five in the third. 

Lunar ardency....Daily affection for us.....The tide ebbs and flows

I believe that is how it went.  I can not even remember exactly how I wrote it, but I like that version, so I will keep it.   I am wishing all beautiful visions and warm thoughts on this snowy day.

Sunday, January 25, 2004

Good Evening

Good evening, or shall I say good morning, is 3:40am and I am awake as usual.  My circadian rhythm is all mixed up.  It has been very mixed up for about a month now.  Perhaps it is the dark winter that does this.  When the sun goes down by 4PM my body thinks it is night and I tend to take a long nap and am up in the middle of the night.  I thought I would share a poem I wrote that published in an anthology this fall with you: 

Joy In The Rain

The birds in flight, God in the sunset.....And I in angels' arms.....Understand why life happened.....What seemed cruel turned out to be my saving grace.....With each hurt, pain, and blunder.....I turned to the rain,.....And to the joy.....Which was in the rain,.....Until the rain turned into the sun,.....And I found the reasons in why......It all occurred.....And I am enthralled.

I couldn't put that in correct poetic stanza because, well, this strange journal will not allow me to single-space return the space bar.  It double spaces each return and only allows me to enter a total of 2500 characters.  I am a wordy person and I think I am taking up too much space.  The last entry had to be trimmed down! lol  I hope you got the idea of the poem anyway.  Joy is a very, very important concept in my life.  I could go on and on about it, but I won't right now.  It's time for me to tuck myself in bed.  May everyone take time to see the small joys around them today and smile and breathe a little more deeply.


Sunday, January 18, 2004

Too Much Goin' On For Me

This color red is appropriate for the color of my emotions....if I were to explode, I would be all red.  Things have been happening too quickly lately without my permission (!!).  I have been dragged down lately by not feeling well and by others not feeling well and by three deaths and by the dark, cold days.  It is very hard for me to get anything done and it seems like my phone just keeps ringing and it won't stop.  I had three consecutive approximately 3am phone calls this week.  Albeit, the callers were sick and needed advice and someone to talk to.  Should they go to the hospital?  Should they just take medicine?  Should they call the police?  One friend tried to kill herself a couple of weeks ago and, to be honest, I was a little angry with her because I had cared for her for awhile!  I understand mental illness, don't get me wrong!  Especially hers as I have the same diagnosis and she is dear to me, but we were both going through hard times.  I see how my thinking get skewed as I type this down.  Now, to figure out how to find time for myself and how to get my apartment cleaned.....Today I HAVE to go see Roger as he is getting baptised.  He is so very dear to me.  Even though I am in alot of pain and there are inches of snow and ice outside, I am going to make it to his baptism.  I have to.  He is special to me.  After his baptism we are going to go see some Mennonite Singers.  That sounds very interesting.  Oh, his Aunt Linda with cancer is in the hospital with the flu.  When it rains it pours.  Roger's Dad just died a week before Christmas.  So much death recently.  Death does lead to the next life, though.  My Aunt Chrissie died in October, Maizie around November and Bob in December.  I think I have been whining too much.  I read this back and realized how bad I sounded!  I must stop whining, how awful I sound!  Bye

Friday, January 16, 2004

It's soooooooooo cold!

I am getting very, very tired of all the snow we have been getting.  I feel like we are living on one of the Poles.  I wouldn't be surprised if a penguin or a polar bear would peak through my window.  We had snow yet again.  I am so ready for Springtime.  I used to like the Wintertime and the white slop that came with it.  Not anymore.  Central Pennsylvania is so dark and cold and grey this time of year.  We can go 30 days and not see the sun.  The sky is a permanent blue/grey.  I painted a picture and named it PA winter.  It is this blue/grey color with a barren tree and some snow on it.  So typical of this area.  I think I am suffering from some SAD.  I would pay $100 just to hear a bird sing or have the sun shine for a day.  When I was a small child I could go outside all day without a coat on during the middle of winter.  Now, I won't even go outside during the wintertime.  My how things change.  I thought that perhaps this nice blue font would bring some thoughts and feelings of the warm blue sea.  It is working a little bit.  I have to dig my car out of a half a foot of snow today before I can go get a hip x-ray because I fell on the ice.  This is the fourth or fifth measurable snow we have gotten since pre-winter.  I am losing count.  Hmmmm.... the consequences of winter.  I am tired of it.  I will probably be complaining in six months when I am too hot and can't breathe because it is too humid.  Weather really affects my mood and my wellness.  I realize that.  I think I will stay inside today and drink hot chocolate and play on the computer and watch some TV.  Perhaps the sun will melt the snow off my car.  Fat chance.  Ah, better chance, we are supposed to have gusting winds up to 50 m.p.h., I bet that will take the snow off! lol  The wind chill is supposed to be below zero.  I think I will leave that x-ray for tomorrow and let Mother Nature clean my car.  Atleast the sun is peaking out right now.  Toodles, all!

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

My First Entry!

Welcome to my first entry.  I thought this blog-writing would be a good idea since I enjoyed writing and idea-sharing (especially my ideas) and it is the beginning of a new year, so what-the-hey.  I am not sure what will come of this, but I am willing to give it a try.  Actually, I got my first computer four years ago to try word processing and to even consider writing a book.  I didn't do either.  For shame.  I must use this second computer for atleast some writing.  I do like to write.  It has always been alot of fun and a source of strength and inspiration and self-discovery and self-acceptance.  I am hoping not to put too many pressures on myself as I am a bit of a perfectionist at times and can be a little crazy with my demands on myself.  Well, welcome to my blog.  Climb in and grab a big comfy bean bag and enjoy!