Monday, February 23, 2004

go rHappy Anniversary (Cont.)

Continued from below........

I also want to celebrate my wonderful family and friends that have stuck by me and have been there for me even though I was not myself for awhile.  You know who you are.  I tell you again and again how much I love you :-)  Life is just so much better with you in it!!  I have started reading a book called "Full Catastrophe Living".  It is a wonderful book that shows you how to use your body AND mind to face pain, stress and illness.  It is an eight-week course.  It opens up your mind to enjoy even mundane tasks as well as the beautiful things in life, always being in the present and being mindful.  It teaches you meditation (which I have done, and loved, for years) and some yoga.  I recommend the book to anyone who wants to lower their stress and slow down and enjoy their day a bit more.  The present is all we have.  I think we buy in too easily to the myth that things will get better in the future only if......  That is a scary, scary thing to fall into.  Today is a gift!  Now I am signing off to go enjoy my day.  I can't wait to see what it has in store for me.  Wishing all of you a very special, wonderful day full of special, little moments! 

Happy Anniversary To Me!

I am using a celebratory color today!  It has been one year this week that I had my brain/spine surgery.  Krissy, this is an anniversary for you also!  I was told that after one year I would know how successful my surgery was because swelling goes down and things fall into place by then.  I am greatly pleased, obviously, that they saved my life and for that I will ALWAYS be grateful.  Anything added to that is just icing on the cake.  I also am having pretty good pain control and about 50% decrease in symptoms.  Some are gone, some not.  I will take this outcome and celebrate!!!  Yay!!!  I had a two-year headache that is gone and only comes back now and again so life is pretty good.  I would say this past year has been a year of fear and grief and pushing away feelings of even having these feelings.  I am sure that I rushed my healing along physically and mentally WAY TOO FAST.  I didn't know exactly what I was up against as I had never had to do this before and hope I will never again.  So, looking back, I have learned a great deal about myself and how strong I am and how sick I really was.  I have learned to really trust what is inside of me and listen to my own heart and soul.  I have learned that I am strong and that no one can do any work for me or tell me how I am supposed to be doing or "behaving".  I have "lost" some time and even possibly a friend or two because they did not understand, but I am now happy that I am doing things at my pace and honoring my spirit. (Continued)

Tuesday, February 3, 2004

Gee, very sad.  They found ricin powder sent to the senate office of the majority leader on the Hill.  Apparently, ricin causes respiratory symptoms and can kill.  I looked it up and found out that it is a poisonous protein from the castor-oil  plant.  This brings back memories of the anthrax scare of a couple years ago.  Sadly, they never found the culprit of those murders.  I remember everyone in the country being afraid to even open their mail - to even touch it.  They are closing down Capitol Hill to de-contaminate.  Immediately following the September 11 attacks of a little over 2 years ago I was glued to the TV and could not turn it off.  It was on even when I fell into fit-full sleep.  All of my days were filled with TV in the background and it went on for months and months like this.  I am not sure when this turned around and I decided not to become a "victim" of the news.  I think it was during the Iraq war.  I new it would be televised 24/7.  I couldn't be awake all the time and watch it perpetually.  I knew this from 9/11 and my news experience with that.  So I decided to put my TV on between one and three times a day for only a half-hour or less when something very big was happening.  Other than that, it was never news-all-day-again. 

So, we have a foot of snow out there again today!  Arghhhhhhh!  I do believe it is one of the most beautiful one's I have seen yet, though.  Wishing all warmth and hot chocolate.