Sunday, August 8, 2004

Life Without Hair

My neurosurgeon had to give me a "buzz" haircut when he insurted the shunt in my head and he apologized several times for my being bald.  I really anticipated it being a bigger shock than it was.  You see, my hair has been my biggest frustration and I would even go as far as calling it shameful.  I am not sure why it has caused me this much pain.  I hate my hair and always have.  Perhaps I have body dysmorphic sydrome (or whatever it is called) when it comes to my hair.  When the surgeon took it off, it was almost a relief.  I didn't have to worry about how it looked or how to fix it, because I had no choice.  It wasn't much of a shock to me either.  It is easy to take care of and keeps my body much cooler.  I have always been too hot and uncomfortable when the temperature raises above 68 degrees.  My mom was always telling me to put my coat on as a child and I was always taking it off when I got outside.  I continued not wearing a coat until I became ill in my 30's.  I labeled myself as having "temperature disregulation".  Now I can get too hot or too cold whenever my body wants to.  Anway, back to the hair.  It is so easy to care for and I know it is not out of place (because there is not much hair to go anywhere).  People do look, but they don't look so much at the hair - they look more at the scars possibly.  That is also uncomfortable, but, hey, not as uncomfortable as I felt when I thought my hair was out of place or frizzy or whatever.  Now I know this sounds whacked and whatnot, and I probably should be getting some "help" for this! lol, but I am enjoying not having hair for the moment and enjoying the very easy upkeep of it.  Now, don't get me wrong, I don't believe people are staring at me every time I go out of the house.  I do hold my head up straight and smile usually, unless I am in one of my funks, or I am irritable or tired.  Oh, and I do see a therapist twice a month.  lol  

My daughter is coming to live with me in 11 days.  She is 18 and is the light of my life.  I also have a son who is 16 and is the best son in the world.  They have been living with their father for 12 years as I have been chronically ill.  This is another story that I will tell you someday.  My daughter, Chelsea, lived with me for almost six years and Matt for almost four when they were young.  It has been very hard for me to have them so far away, to say the least.  I am in Pennsylvania and they are in Florida.  I have been seeing them in the summertime when school lets out and usually during their winter break.  Now they both want to go to college in PA so I am very blessed.  Their coming to PA is one of those things that you pray for for many years and have to be patient about and trust God for and eventually things come full circle.  It is very amazing to me and I thank God very much for it.

I will let you guys know how it goes with Chelsea's arrival!  Thanks for your comments!  Toodles and God bless!




  1. You look beautiful in all your styles of hair (and lack thereof, lol)!  
    And I can't wait until Chels gets here! -Krissy

  2. Chelsea ducks et al!
    I have very fine hair.
    When I took ill I more or less shaved it all off and still keep it that way.
    Much easier. When I was 20 it was at my shouldrs and below........ old hippy.............
    Great to get another entry!!
    Bless you!

  3. Glad you are feeling better and that your prayers have been answered with the kids coming to college in PA.  Awesome.  I know your heart is smiling.  You write well and I know I will enjoy your journal.

  4. Glad to hear your spirits are high about the return of your daughter! How awesome will that be!?!?...Your kids returning to PA to go to college is also such a have much to be brateful girl!! BTW, your sis led me this way, and I am thankful!! You write so well!!

  5. hey there , hope you are feeling better.. this comes from a fellow sick person! ha ha! Happy to hear your children will be coming to be with you, that is great! Feel free to check out my journal. Peace and Blessings * Melaney


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