Thursday, August 26, 2004

I'm Thankful Tonight

Where, oh where, have all the AOL alerts gone?  Oh where, oh where can they be?  Oh well.  I had fun jumping around everybody elses' journals and looking and seeing what everyone wrote today and investigating instead of being alerted and just reading my alerts.  I do love reading other's journals and I think it is cool that we can "peak" into other's lives.  I am a little bit socially phobic and like to stay at home alot.  So blogging is a good way to meet people and be honest and say what is on your mind and still be in your p.j.'s. and not have to worry about the social gathering part of finding others.  I do believe that I am not going to find a husband this way, though, so I better get over my social phobia!!  I am feeling grateful tonight, though, as it is getting closer to my daughter's arrival!  Two more days!!  I am "nesting" here.  I have been doing all kinds of housework and all kinds of preparations for her arrival and the gratification is enormous.  I have not lived with my children for twelve years, so I have not felt this kind of gratification since Chelsea was six.  I know it sounds crazy that a mother has not had her children for twelve years, but that is a long, long story that I will write for another entry.  It is a source of enormous pain and will take alot of energy for me to write.  It will also take some trust in my readers.  Chelsea called me last night and told me that they have to bulldoze their house and that it is a total loss.  She said that when you walk into the house there is mold on the walls and windodws and there is no roof anymore.  You sink into the carpets as there is so much water and they lost all of their possessions.  They are destroyed by this toxic mold and fiberglass and water damage.  Now my son went to live with a friend for six months or so until they can build a new house.  His darn (I want to use a stronger word!) father never gave me the address or phone number of the friend that he is staying at so I have no idea where my son is!!  My son is 16 and his name is Matthew.  I plan on putting a picture of him in my journal tomorrow.  He is a wonderful kid.  He had better call his Mama soon!!  I also wanted to tell the world tonight that God is very good and that He is my heart and I wanted to praise Him!  He has done so many good things for me recently!  I don't say it out loud enough, but God is the center of my universe and everything spokes out from Him.  With that, I will sign off and hope that everyone is well tonight and that everyone is feeling peaceful....


  1. I think it is interesting to go to other's houses (journals!) while staying in my pj's also! -Krissy

  2. Mercifully alerts are back I hope!
    We have been getting battered by gale force winds since last night - the tail end of Hurricane Charley..............

  3. Your poor kids! I know how attached teens are to their "stuff". Hope your son calls you soon! -B

  4. I love looking on thecomputer in my PJs too, lol. Don't give up hope of meeting a husband online, thats where I met mine!!!
    I will be thining about you at the weekend when Chelsea arrives. I hope you have a special time together. I am sure your love will help her get over the tragic time she has had, her and her family. God bless you all xxxx........Jules

  5. What a beautiful entry, Val.  I can sure understand being socially phobic.  I'm like that, too.  Crowds kind of scare me and I sort of shrink into a corner.  That's why the journals are so much fun.  Plus, I'm too quiet and shy around a lot of people and I would never talk as much as I write.  I have a little understanding of the pain you speak of, too.  There's some things that are just too painful to think about, never mind writing about.  And sharing that pain?  I have to be much braver to do that.  Maybe it's fear of rejection?  That people won't like us or read our journals anymore?  Or maybe it's letting anyone get that close?  I don't know.  Anyway... enough philosophical, soul searching.  I'm sure your son will call you soon.  You know how kids are, very self-centered and they don't realize their parents are worrying about them.  Making God the center of our universe is the ONLY way to live.  Of course, sometimes I slip up there, but I realize my mistake and He forgives me, if I ask Him to.  Take care.


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