Wednesday, October 20, 2004

I Hurt, but my heart is warm...

Life has been a bit of a roller coaster the last few days.  I don't know when to sleep and when to be awake.  My body doesn't really know when it is hungry and thirsty and I have been in a great deal of pain.  It started on Saturday when I was recuperating from my visit to Baltimore.  I usually take a few days to recover from a day out of town.  I like to take it easy and take a long night's rest and even a nap the next day.  I forgot to take care of myself.  Monday arrived and I cleaned my home from top to bottom.  I am talking about twelve hours of housework.  I did every stitch of laundry I had neglected and even did my daughter's laundry.  I did my dishes that were calling out to me.  I swept the floors and washed them.  I dusted.  Chelsea came home and we made it a project of re-arranging her clothes and cleaning her room!  Yay, Chelsea!  Everything was sparkling clean, or atleast as clean as I am ever going to get it.  This was a mistake for me, because I should never use this much energy on any one physical project EVER.  If you have read the spoons article from a few entries back you will understand.  My body hurts so bad today I could scream.  I have taken muscle relaxants for two days and it seems like I am just eating candy.  Added to that is the emotional drain of wishing that Chelsea wasn't going through what she is going through.  I know I can't live my daughter's life, but it sure hurts to "see" her live it.  The dreaded call came for her Monday night to hurry up and get to Florida.  Her granny is dying.  There is no hope.  So I stayed up all night Monday night and helped her decide what to pack and visited with Krissy and John who took her to the airport as I can not drive in the dark.  Thanks, Krissy and John!!  They have stepped up to the plate more times than I can even count and have been my heroes in this life.  If everyone had a Krissy and a John this world would be a much better place.   I got to bed as Chelsea was leaving for the airport and have been in and out of bed since with fatigue and pain.  As far as doing too much, sometimes life just makes me have to do these things.  No one is going to do my housework.  No one is going to take the emotional "stuff" away and live my life for me.  If I have neglected things for too long they all come crashing down.  Hard lesson learned.  Yet I do it time and time again.  It is very hard to live a life where you have to sit down and rest your body and mind every hour or so or you know you will crash mentally and physically.  Sometimes you just choose to crash.

I would appreciate prayers for Chelsea and her family in Florida.  That would be very, very special.  She called her work from Florida and told her that she could not come in.  This was when she had already not shown up and was late.  Her boss said everything was perfectly fine, to take as long as she needed, and that they would pray for her granny at the office meeting that morning.  Wow, at JC Penney's!  That warmed my heart!  A big clothing store!  Talking about prayer!  Maybe people are more vocal about helping one another and about feelings these days.  Maybe they are a bit kinder.  I hope so.

It turns out my parents are able to get a flu shot after all!  30 employees at a local dry cleaners are giving up their shots to those who need them.  My Dad called up and stated his case for them and they got put on the list!  They were going to stay in the house all flu season!   Another nice bit of kindness!  I feel a little bit warm in the heart today!  Hope everyone is staying dry and warm!


  1. Thinking of you.
    What a sad mess about 'flu injections your country seems to have got itself into.
    Do you have to pay for these?

  2. OK, so now I all worried bout you Val. If only I was closer I could put some of this excess energy to work and clean house. Take some baby steps my friend and do a bit at a time. I'll keep chanelling my energy your way ... feel it.... it's zooming over Detroit right now and probably zapped a few geese still migrating south (look at those wings go NOW!!@#@##$$!!!!). Prayers and good vibes for Chelsea and her family down in FL. Will add her to the prayer list and get some group prayers going ("Wherever two or more of you are gathered together in my name...") Yeah you are one lucky gal with folks like Krissy and John nearby. Family, you're blessed there Val. J.C Penny is awesome, how supportive. who woulda guessed? They get my next consumer vote. Mom and dad getting flu shots, another prayer answered there I bet. There is still some good ol fashioned giving and unselfish sharing going on the US of A! Take care, rest up, and RECHARGE!! ZZZZZZZZAP!

  3. Val, sending ickle tiny gentle hugs ((ickle hugs)) to you hon.  Sorry you feel so bad, housework just isn't as important as your health my friend, it just isn't.  Am thinking of Chelsea and her Granny, will pray for them too.  Yes, I have been known to say a prayer or two!!  I'm glad you have Krissy and John :o)
    Thanks for playing my 'hide the photo' game!!  You're a superstar!!  Take care hon, love and more ikle hugs to you.
    Sara   x

  4. Doing too much seems so easy at the time but boy do we pay for it afterwards! I've been thinking for a while now that I could do with giving my whole flat a good clean...I just dont want the worn out bit days after when I'm stuck in bed and cant even go on the computer (shock horror!).

    Love and thoughts to your daughter and her gran. It's hard to lose loved ones...I lost my grandad a few years ago and it affected me very badly. I'm glad you have Krissy and John to help you out...

    Well, Stace is shouting at me to come and eat cos he made me some dinner!

    Love to you and yours and make sure you tak eit easy! (maybe you need someone to nag you too!)

    Love Amy xxxx

  5. I'm sure you've heard this before but the house will be still standing in a few days if you rest. I was a clean-freak all my life. Looking back, I realize how much damage I had done to my body and how much time I wasted worrying about perfection. Dust a little, do a load of laundry a day and LIVE. Sorry if I sound bossy. For now, get a lot of rest.


  6. Have said prayers for you and Chelsea and her family.  Hope you get some rest too.  Take care.

  7. I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time of it right now, just slow down and rest...things will look up.  And your right, it is hard to see our children go through difficult times but it is a part of life.  My oldest son is going through a very difficult time, part of it his own making, but he has to deal with it, I cant do it for him.  Sad thing is, my grandson has to go through it with him.  All I can do, and all you can do, is be there for them and pray........................Stormie  

  8. You know, Val, your entry warmed my heart.  You talk about your health issues, but you're not whining or complaining.  You're just stating the way it is for you and how you have to remember not to overload yourself in any one day.  And you praise your sister and her boyfriend.  You see the bright side of life shining through the clouds.  I so admire you.  You're a testimony to all of us that we shouldn't fight what we've been handed in life, rather we should accept it, deal with it and look for the bright spots.  You just take care and don't push yourself, too much.  You're in my prayers, too.

  9. You poor thing.  Roller coaster up... roller coaster down.  

    Warm baths.. that might help those sore muscles.  

    I'm thinking about you!

  10. I stumbled across your journal and really enjoyed it.


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