Sunday, December 16, 2007

This is for Jessica...

I got a call from a really good friend about three weeks ago telling me that her 18 year-old daughter, Jessica, who was in college, had killed herself.  I was dumbstruck.  She was so, so young!  I felt so ill when I heard this.  So sick to my stomach.  I didn't know what to say to her.  All I could do was "be there for her" and allow her to talk about it.  We have been friends for about six years.  Then a neighbor in town here killed himself about a week ago.   I have been walking around in a sort of "fog".    I am no stranger to suicides.  I have had several friends/acquaintances who have killed themselves over the past 20 years.  I am in the mental health system (I am bipolar and have OCD) and have met quite a few people who have been depressed.  I have talked people out of suicide before.  Suicide doesn't have to happen.  I have been suicidal myself.  It is the worst felling you can ever feel.  It is a "soul pain".  When someone is feeling this way, it is hard to convince them that they will ever feel any other way but what they are feeling.  I belong to The National Suicide Prevention Network.  I got an email from them this morning.  I was reading and found out that the highest rate of suicide is actually among the elderly.  If you want to do something this holiday season, visit this website, plug in your zip code and sign some petitions, make some phone calls and get educated!!  Also, if you are feeling suicidal yourself, I have a free, national suicide hotline number in the links in my sidebar.  It will always be listed there.  They are there to help you.  Please give them a call.  You can email me as well.  I care.

         

15 comments:

  1. Hey Val,
    It's been awhile since I visited I'm gonna look down I see you have a new baby now. How exciting!! I had been trying the links from DSD and they didn't work. Glad this one did. I'll set my alerts again and save your link.
    I'm so sorry about your friends daughter..how awful I have an 18yo too and I would be devastated. I have felt that way myself, but figured out I had so much to live for my grandson being the biggest part.. he is so innocent and has no clue the power he has had over me.
    Take care, Chrissie

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  2. Val~I think you are a wonderful activist about your "causes" and I know you make a difference. Isn't it amazing how many people you may touch who you may not know ever read this entry? Isn't it a bit of a comfort to know that you can sit in your own home and do things that matter right on your computer? Like so many who may not ever admit it, I have felt suicidal. You're right that you just can't believe you will ever feel any different or that the feeling will never pass. I have always known they will pass, but the tricky part is that I have known too that they will return or at least the depression will. They say this time of year has the highest rate of suicides. Could it be the pressure to be happy, have family to be with and money for gifts? If you're reading this and you feel this way--please make at least one phone call right now. God bless~Deb

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  3. You're to be commended on this, Val.
    Christmas is actually one of the worst times of year for some poor souls.

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  4. ((((((((((((VAL)))))))))))))))I am so sorry to hear that a mother lost Her 18 year old daughter and someone has died.It is so sad.But you are doing a good thing by helping people.

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  5. That's horrible!
    Missie

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  6. Sweetie, I am so proud of you for writing this entry.  It is so very brave of you to reveal a part of yourself like that - that's not always easy to do.  Sometimes it makes us feel vulnerable.  I am also grateful that you left the links you did, and that you have the National Suicide Hotline Number in your sidebar.  That will help others.  I need to steal that from you and put it in mine also.  Thank you in advance b/c I know you will say yes.  Okay, sweetie, thank you for being so helpful and brave.  Love you,

    Krissy
    http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink

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  7. I had a friend commit suicide a few years ago and it was several months before I even knew she was gone, she lived in another state.....
    Special thoughts for the family...
    Linda...

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  8. How sad...I have never been touched by suicide myself so can only imagine how awful it would be.  As a friend or relative you would always wonder if there was something you could have done to prevent it.  Could you have made a phone call the day before or sent a note that would have changed the person's mind.....awful, just awful.  I'm so sorry for Jessica's family...I'll remember them in my prayers.  Linda in Washington state

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  9. This is so sad.  Thanks for sending the links.

                   Julie

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  10. I am so sorry about your friend's daughter!  

    I have never felt that ill.  I have felt sad, no reason to go on, definitely depression, but never could consider for a moment suicide because 1.  my religious upbringing & #2. What is would be like for my family members (few as there are) to have to face losing me that way.

    I think it's tragic for the ones who suffer and mutually and perhaps even sadder for those that love that person.  I do want to help in this cause Val, and I will sign on to do so.  
    Love, Merry

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  11. Im so sorry about jessica. Im so glad i chose not to jump straight into school because its all a rush and all to much pressure from your parents and your friends and even you. i felt like that when i was 18 and i was so stressed i wanted out but i never went through with it fortunatly.

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  12. Thanks Maire, needed stuff.  All souls in their time travel to the next step.  I do feel for this youngster's family though.  Sometimes we plan things out for a much longer run.  Then life happens.  Stay well, CATHY xoxo

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  13. I is so very sad...I have been there myself...and your right...sometimes there is just nothing that anyone can say to make you feel that you have a future. Thank you for making this post...you may have just saved a life....June

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  14. Satan is the author of hopelessness.  People can go on without money, without recognition, without love, without friends....if they have to.  If they have hope.  So sad and tragic when one can't feel any hope.  It's always there.  But sometimes we can't feel it.  And sometimes we place it in things that aren't real or satisfying.  Then it gets dashed.  Thank God for the Hope that is in Him!  -  Barbara

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  15. A very important post, Valerie. I wish your friend's family peace at this difficult time.

    Beth

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