Sunday, April 29, 2007

"Wordplay"! #42 - It's funny!...

Morning Journal people =).   I got a hysterical email from my special buddy Merry and thought I would use it for a "Wordplay" this morning.  Thanks, dearest Merry!   Read below and answer the two questions.  I hope you laugh as hard as I did!
                           Economic Models - With Cows

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.  Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.  You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.  Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows.  You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows.  You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows.  You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.  You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.  You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.  You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.  You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows because your sobering up and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINA CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.  You worship them.
ABRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows.  Both are mad.
IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.  You tell them that you have none.  No one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.  You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a  Democracy....
AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.  Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers.
WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.


1.  Which Economic Model did you find funniest?  Most 
         thought-provoking?  Any other thoughts?

2.  How many cows do you have?

my answer:  It's hard for me to pick just one (I know, quite surprising).  Surrealism gave me the first big laugh.  I think I live in surrealism a lot =).  I think Enron and Iraqi Models were quite funny and sad.  Actually, these are all quite funny and sad.  What do you think?

Cows?  How many cows do I have?  Well, I have two that are half full of milk, not half empty.  What about you?

I'm having a "catch-up" weekend.  It's been rainy and cool and very Spring-like.  I thought winter wasn't going to leave, but it has.  I have been fighting severe fibro. pain with the weather change (rain and wind and dampness).  It's been hard to be on the computer with regularity.  The pain will calm down, I am sure.  So if I haven't been to your journal in awhile, I will be theresoon!  If you have a special entry you have written and want me to see it, please put the URL in the comments section or send it in an email.  I have been having to delete my alerts.  Thanks, everyone!  Have a super Sunday!  Hugs! xox

P.S.  I wanted to congratulate Krissy
for winning Kellen's Journal Tournament IV!  It was no easy feat, for sure!  CONGRATS, Krissy!!  YOU ROCK!!



  1. Oh that is a good one! So clever and funny...I liked traditional capitalism and China best I think. I couldn't read Enron cuz it was too long and complicated just like the real thing! Iraq was funny and sad at the same time...I have no cows. My dog Teddy used to want to herd cows so bad--even more than sheep. Have a good Sunday, Val! xox Deb

  2. I have two cows (traditional capitalism).  Can you tell I am an American?
    The Nazism statement is sad but true.


  3. (((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU))))))))))))))))))Have a nice week ahead.

  4. Hi Val! :o) Thanks for visiting my journal again. :o) Yes you've been there...I remember you. :o) I read you journal too! lol :o) btw...anyone can snag anything off my journal that they want to, and you're welcome! :o) Yes I found those groups to be real downers. So I broke away so to speak. :o) So sorry to hear that you're on so many medicines. I know how that is too. uuuggghhh! One of these days those doctors will get it right for us...I just know it! :o) You have a great day! :o)

  5. Val, I like the Italian Corporation!

    I like the American Traditional one, I think it was.

    Actually, I like Giraffs better, too!

    Truthfully.  I have no cows.  They poop too much!  I don't want to clean up after them.  But if I did have two cows, one would be named Valerie and one Merry. Valerie would be the younger pretty one!  I would be the older but stuboorn cow.

    xoxo Merry

  6. Val, I think if I owned two cows, that your brother would tip both of them.   Dadeo. . .

  7. Hey Val you have a fantastic Journal here.


Please leave your thoughts - fun, intelligent, silly, joyful, spacy - it matters not =)