My friend Merry sent me these cat jokes in an email the other day and I thought I would share them with you. I got a kick out of them. I think you will like them, especially if you are a "cat person".
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before pause.
What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?
A peeping tom.
Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
What is a cat's favorite song?
Three Blind Mice.
What is a cat's way of keeping law & order?
Claw Enforcement.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Why are cats better than babies?
Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat?
Hiss and Tell.
What does a cat do when it gets mad?
It has a hissy fit.
What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
The purrpatrator.
What is a cat's favorite color?
Purrrrrrrple!
Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?
The retail store.
What does a cat like to eat on a hot day?
A mice cream cone.
What do cats use to make coffee?
A purrcolator.
What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck?
A duck-filled fatty puss.
Why is the cat so grouchy?
Because he's in a bad mewd.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?
An eskimew.
What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
How do cats end a fight?
They hiss and make up.
What is the cat's favorite magazine?
Good Mousekeeping.
What is a cat's favorite car?
The Catillac.
What kind of cat will keep your grass short?
A Lawn Meower.
Why did the judge dismiss the entire jury made up of cats?
Because each of them was guilty of purrjury.
What do you use to comb a cat?
A catacomb.
Did you have a favorite one? I liked the "retail store" and the "duck-filled fatty pus" ones. My cats have me laughing all day long. Baby was chasing his tail the last couple of nights, just like a dog - round and round in circles. He used to do this but stopped. He is doing it again. Do you have any funny stories about your cats or any pet? I would love for you to share it in my comments section! I will share stories in an entry later in the week if I receive some!
I hope you are all having a good start to your weekend! Take care and pat your pets for me! xox
Posts
Here is my favorite: How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.
ReplyDeleteKrissy http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink
Hi Val i enjoyed em all thanks.So hows things with you guys.Hope you havin a good weekend :)
ReplyDelete((((((((((((((((VAL)))))))))))))))))))))))Thanks for the laugh,I needed it.I hop you are enjoying your weekend.I will try and do the hunt tonight.
ReplyDeleteLoved the jokes! Loved the one about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn.
ReplyDeleteMy cats bring entertainment to my day as well. I have two boys and they "fight" every day....I love it....I wish I had a video camera--I'd put them on You Tube or something!
Those are great, Val, thanks for sharing :-)))
ReplyDeleteI liked the Hiss and Make up and Too many cheetahs. LOL
ReplyDeleteNot being a cat gal, but I'm learning. I was traumatized by wild farm cats as a child. They knew it and they chased me LOLOL. I was 4 yrs old & my granny said this one cat was chasing me. I came running in the house, crying and screaming and the cat jumped right up on the screen. Crying and sniffling I said (according to Granny) You won't let that cat get me, will you Granny? You'll kick the shit out of him! LOLOL My dad was ready to spank me for cussing. Granny took her shoe off and threatened to spank my Dad! I wasn't spoiled was I? LOL
I'm bacccck. Got a new puter. They don't even make computers without 1 of 6 versions of Vista. This salesman told me that computer manufacturers stopped making computers for 2 months before Vista came out so they could stock up on the new ones Vista. LOL I'm not real familiar with Vista yet but just happy to be online. I've missed my dear JLand friends/family. Hope all is well with you.
Love ya kiddo. Hugs, Barb
This one is my favorite.
ReplyDeleteWhat does a cat do when it gets mad?
It has a hissy fit.
I have a million dog stories, my favorites about my dog Jessi who was our first Bichon lived to 14. But I don't have any cat stories. I'll tell you of some of Jessi's escapades someday. She was something special and had a true sense of humor. I love the dogs we have now; but Jessi was our FIRST little dog, so she was special....we'd had Beautiful but big Collies before. Merry
so that's why I like purrrple and Raisin is a claw enforcer, lol....
ReplyDeleteLinda :)
Loved this Val, especially with our kitten now, he is going to be a real character believe me. I liked the same ones as you best. A funny cat story. Well, we once had two Siamese cats who were sisters. One of them went out one Sunday. We had had our lunch and had sat down to watch a movie on t.v. We then heard this strange bang which was followed by a series of thumps. There would be a little gap and then another thump. We looked at each other wondering what it could be. We went into the hall to have a look. Do not ak me how she did it but Serena had come in through the cat door with a leg of lamb, cooked and still warm. It was as big as her. How she got it from whoever it belonged to, got it up the garden, through the cat door and up the hall, we still have no idea. But she looked very pleased as she presented to us. We have laughed about it many times since that time years ago. Some poor family had no Sunday lunch that day. Went to serve up the meat only to find it gone!!!!! Needlesss to say we did not eat it but our animals lived off it for a couple of days and the dogs were very happy as well.
ReplyDeletehttp://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/
Very Funny!
ReplyDeleteMissie
I love the Fatty Puus one too Val...I enjoyed reading all of them. By the way...Guido guided me here today. Jeanie
ReplyDeleteI liked the Mice Krispies. ((((hugs)))))
ReplyDeleteCindy
Q) what is the purrrrfect crime for a sleepy kat?? A)kitnapping! Val, I just made this up, dadeo. . .
ReplyDeleteThese are very good!
ReplyDeleteLori